Sports Quotes

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Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born
pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming
contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back." (1981)

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter
Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
prison for three years, not Princeton."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, Son,
what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I
don't know and I don't care.' " (1991)

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in
football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three,
then line up in a circle."

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because
of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a
professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your
brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his
visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we
went to."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every
level, except college and pro."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the
morning regardless of what time it is."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record:
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I
just can't figure out where else to play." (1992)

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's
expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an

Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of
Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning:
"One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about
getting a nose in condition for football?" (1966)

Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's
co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running on
to the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the
injured reserve players out for the toss next time." (1981)

Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire
at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy
was that 15 hadn't been colored yet." (1991)

Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he
thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." (1991)

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a
player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
spending too much time on one subject." (1987)